An atheist was walking through the woods. "What majestic trees"! "What
powerful rivers"! "What beautiful animals"! He said to himself. As he
was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes
behind him.  
He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him.
 
He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder &
saw that the bear was closing in on him.
He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer. He
tripped & fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but
saw
that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left
paw & raising his right paw to strike him.
 
At that instant the Atheist cried out, "Oh my God!" Time Stopped. The
bear froze. The forest was silent.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky.
"You
deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don’t exist and
even credit creation to cosmic accident." "Do you expect me to help
you
out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer"? The atheist
looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical of me to
suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could
make the BEAR a Christian"?

"Very Well," said the voice.

The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear
dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head &
spoke:
 

"Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty,
through Christ our Lord, Amen."

 A man in Tyler had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it.  Then he got back in the car to wait.  A passerby studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he turned around and went back.  He asked the fellow what the problem was.

The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert.  After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep.

I urgently needed a few days off work, But, I knew the Boss would not
allow me to take leave.
I thought that maybe if I acted "Crazy"
Then he would tell me to take a few days off.
So, I hung upside-down on the ceiling & Made funny noises.
My co-worker (who’s blonde)asked me what I was doing.
I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb, So, that the Boss
might think I was "Crazy" & give me a few days off.
A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked, "What in
the name of good GOD are you doing?"
I told him I was a light bulb.
He said, "You are clearly stressed out."
Go home & recuperate for a couple of days."
I jumped down & walked out of the office…
When my co-worker (the blonde) followed me, The Boss asked her "…And
where do you think you’re going?!"
(You’re gonna love this….)

She said, "I’m going home too, I can’t work in the dark!!